How PAP will win the next general election in 2015/2016 (Episode 1): The Weapons of Mass Propaganda

Its pretty easy writing this article when you are sitting at the fence listening to both sides of the coin. Naysayers prefer a concrete plan to bring down the PAP while servants of the PAP are doubling up their SG50 efforts to celebrate and as well as informing or educating the public how lucky and how prosperous they are.

The reason for writing this article is to hope the electorate will be better informed and not be misled by potential propaganda.

PAP’s overall strategy: Influence and indoctrinate the electorate on all sides, that is things, activities and events that occupy their daily lives and influencing their decisions.

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You know the government can easily change opinions and sentiments by tightening immigration policies, better workers’ rights and representation, reducing cost of living, provide more concrete welfare to the poor and vulnerable, be more transparent on our CPF investments and education polices focused on Singaporeans. However, they risk burning their own pockets if they really do that. Why?

  1. Better educated electorate = less daft voters
  2. More CPF transparency = restrict investment decisions = less dividends/interests for themselves
  3. More welfare = More money spent on citizens = less money for themselves (Selfish lah!)
  4. Higher cost of living = more rental yields and service charge for themselves (& cronies)
  5. More new citizens = more daft voters
  6. Less workers rights and representation = less trouble for themselves(employers) lah.

PAP’s Weapons of Mass Propaganda (WMP):

  1. Mass media – TV, print and internet (including entertainment)
  2. “Freebies” – GST dividends/vouchers, Utilities vouchers, CPF top-ups, subsidies and rebates
  3. SG50 participating cronies and private companies
  4. Lip services from ministers to pander the electorate
  5. More PAP internet trolls and NCMP/Ex NCMPs
  6. The Police and related(including the ISA and military)
  7. Civil Service (including the People’s Association)
  8. New citizens from 3rd world countries
  9. More grants for associations, clubs and societies(non-profit)
  10. Additional budget for ad-hoc activities and event

Coming up:

How PAP will win the next general election in 2015/2016: The Mediacork and SPHorlan Special

How PAP will win the next general election in 2015/2016: The Mediacork and SPHorlan Special

WMP Action plans: Mass media

Mediacork and SPHorlan will be making a series of historical dramas, documentaries and sham debates to ‘prove’ that Singaporeans are better off than in the 1960s to 1980s when racial riots were prevalent, Singaporeans were very poor, living standards sucked, petty corruption were impeding progress and how other countries were bullying us.

Then, they will portray how Emperor Lee eradicated injustice, created equality and built a ‘democratic’ and first world nation. Currently, a lot of tribute documentaries of the late ‘democratic’ Emperor are published online, print, on air and on TV. Families and friends, including foreign nations are fascinated by our precarious history and route to first world. Many mourned his passing and the media replayed all these acts again and again on TV to enhance and manufacture more sympathy votes for his Lee Xiao Loong. Chicken and ducks (鸡同鸭讲), including cats and dogs (啊猫啊狗) are deeply sympathetic too. That’s how the effective the propaganda is.

Soon, movies, dramas and variety TV shows will be made to mask the propaganda efforts and fool the electorate. The highly anticipated film 1965, will feature how ‘Por Lum Par(PLP)’ came about and how Emperor Lee was just a simple and frugal but sibeh intelligent man. Its suspected that Lee Xiao Loong will make a cameo appearance as a fruit seller! Many Hong Kong celebrities are also slated to appear in the movie as well. I think Andy Lau will fit a deputy prime minister role while Chow Yun Fatt should fit one of the ‘villians’ like Lim Chin Siong or Tan Wah Piow. Don’t forget Nicole Seah and Thin Peiling will be acting together as feuding sisters! The movie is expected to win all ‘Golden-Cow’ awards (金牛奖) and break records!

Songs

New patriotic songs and MTVs featuring local and international stars will be created for consumers and the coming national day events.

Millions and millions of dollars will be spent for attracting international talents such as Nicky Minaj, Kanye West and Eminem to compose the music and sing as well. Millions and millions will also be spent on pushing iTunes sales and buybacks of the albums and songs created. Recently, Eminem has announced that he will be composing a rap song ‘Cowpeh-Cowbu’ for the 1965 movie.

It was rumoured that Nicky Minaj’s butt will be in the New MTV: Ana-CONNED-da in collaboration with Kanye West.

Old patriotic songs such as ‘One People, One Nation’ and ‘Count on me, Singapore’ will be re-edited, remastered, and bundled up with the new albums. Dicked Lee is helming the project. He said that the SG50 events have inspired him to edit the lyrics:

“One people, one nation… let’s con Sink-ka-porre!

That’s the way… we will be, forever more”

“Count on me Sink-ka-porre! Come on me Sink-ka-porre!

You and me, we’ll do our part, stand together, butt to butt
We’re going to show the world what SG50 can be
We can achieve, we earn money!”

Games

Just in: Pro-Pappies private companies are making games to influence children and the bored! The key objective is to hook you up to their games with neutral themes such as ‘My Singapore City.’ Packets of propaganda will be sent to educate the masses. I suspect just before the elections, ‘villians’ in the name of SDP and Workers’ party would spring up to makan your points in the game. “Buy more credits or vote PAP to get free 10000000000000 credits!”

Coming up:

How PAP will win the next general election in 2015/2016 (Episode 2 &3): The Attack of the Trolls & Revenge of the ISA

How PAP will win the next general election in 2015/2016 (Episode 2 &3): The Attack of the Trolls & Revenge of the ISA

The Pappies will be attacking your minds in all directions using the WMPs. Immediately after Emperor Lee’s death, Hong Lim park was converted to a memorial and free speech banned. The police are selectively clamping down those who insults and defame others, especially Lee Xiao Loong and gang. More and more high profile celebrities, bloggers and pages are being bribed by the SG50 candies to troll and influence the electorate. I call it the SG50 syndrome. The very first known case of the SG50 syndrome was the case of XiaaXuue (下血). The first known and only person who has since recovered was Teh Pinghui. However, his acting career may be curtailed as a result. The lesser known Mr. Brown, was its latest victim. I heard he will be changing career from comedy to Por Lum Par(PLP) specialist! Some opposition scientists such as Gilbert Goh and Alex Tan are researching for cures and antidotes. Organisations such as The Online Citizen(TOC), The real Singapore(TRS) and TRemeritus(TRE) are actively posting prevention methods and potential cures for the electorate.

The Pappies has since doubled up the SG50 infection by setting up various CON-sites to fight TRS and TRE. However, sites such as Mother-shit, FLOP, FAP and The lovely Sinned-ka-porre have seen lukewarm support.

Recently, the battles have intensified since Thaipusam. Writers of TRS were arrested for allegedly posting articles inciting racial tensions. It was suspected that one of its writers who wrote the article was either a planted mole or infected by the SG50 syndrome. Its only a matter of time TRS collapse or succumb to the disease.

Soon you will see these efforts gathering pace. Roy Ngerg will be made to pay an unprecedented $500,000(including GST) for his defamation suit and subsequently made a bankrupt. He won’t be able to contest in the imminent elections.

A few months before the elections, I suspect ‘Order 66’ which bare resemblance to ‘Operation Spectrum’ and ‘Operation coldstore’ will be enacted under the Internal Security Act(ISA). Talented and potential opposition candidates will be rounded up and detained for at least until after the elections. The media will be hush about it. Perhaps Facebook could be mysteriously down for a while and Anonymous(fake) could be enlisted to simulate an attack on SG50 sites in order to give the government justifications to arrest oppositions.

Coming up:

How PAP will win the next general election in 2015/2016 (Episode 4): A False Hope

How PAP will win the next general election in 2015/2016 (Episode 4): A False Hope

Just before the elections, or just after the grand SG50 celebration in 9th August 2015, the next general election date will be announced. Suddenly, your bank accounts are being topped up with dividends straight from Marina Bay Sands! Suddenly, Chinese New Year comes earlier than expected:

财神到!@#$%^…

财神到我家大门口!@#$%^…

迎财神 接财神 把财神投到PAP里头

Song translation:

Wealth-deity is here! Dong-dong-Qiang!(sound)

Wealth-deity enters my house! Dingdong-dingdongQiang!

Welcome Wealth-deity, give me money, I vote for PAP!

Next, government announces that fuel, food prices and rents will be frozen for the next 6 months! Government-linked companies and civil service suddenly declare additional dividends and bonuses for their employees! There is more! Utility bills suddenly nose-dive to record low levels, coupled by addition U-Save vouchers. Even my new citizen neighbour gets it as well!

Heh there is still more! Ministers and Mps suddenly appear in your estate and actually come up to your house and actually listened to what you have to say! Newspapers suddenly publish news that the government is intending to change all anti-Singaporean policies! Lee Xiao Loong really meant it! He will be staging a rally to do more than saying sorry. He is going to cry!

“MORE SYMPATHY VOTES PLEASE! WE ARE ALL IN IT TOGETHER! YOU JUMP, I WATCH. YOU DIE YOUR PROBLEM!!!”

By election time, 1 million new ‘temporary’ citizens will be flown in from China, India and JB(borrowed). These ‘temporary citizens’ may be converted to ‘permanent citizens’ if they pass the ‘voting’ exam! A record number of PRs will be converted to citizens too as well.

Summon aunties and uncles will be taking their much needed annual leave during this crucial period while appeals and assistance from relevant authorities will be granted quickly and efficiently.

Election Aftermath

The Pappies will either win or lose. Perhaps the probability of losing will be much lower. If the Pappies win, MPs and ministers will suddenly disappear from your estates and air lifted to the Maldives for their much needed holidays. Fuel, food and living costs will then continue to creep up again. Utilities suddenly increase and public transport break down again!

Alternatively, if the Pappies ever loses, wha… can’t imagine what may happen. Perhaps, round 2 of ISA, reducing the opposition candidates or Workers’ party join Pappies to form a coalition. Low Thia Kiang could become a deputy prime minister.

If ever the opposition garner enough mandate to form government. I suspect a thai-styled military coup may soon ensue. Singapore will no longer remain a democratic nation but a true Lee-monarchy.

Good luck Singaporeans, vote wisely. Every vote counts. The end.